i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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