We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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