We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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