I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
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