...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
