In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
