they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My ATM looks so different sober.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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