hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
