Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
