he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
