Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
