I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I still have a little drunk in my system
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
