thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
