I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize