think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
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