you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
