We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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