lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
