I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
