Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
