so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
