So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
