I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Bring me that man meat
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
