I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
