you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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