i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
