I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
