Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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