When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize