It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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