There is no way he is gay with that hair.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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