She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
