we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
