I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
