Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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