Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
