I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
false alarm. still invincible.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
