you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
