Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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