just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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