I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
