I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
