Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
