I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
