That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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