well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
