all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
