she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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