...so i touched it.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
