Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
