I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
