At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
